My parents have decided to kick me out.
Unless I apologize to a father that I’ve never had a conversation with who plans to kick me out of the house because my mother has wound him up over nothing, they’re kicking me out of the house. Neither has spoken to me about the whole incident since last Saturday and have been expecting an apology from me that frankly I cannot muster any longer. I’ve put up with the insanity that is my mother simply because I should be grateful that my father is kind enough to support me financially. But now… I can’t do this anymore. I can’t play any of her games anymore. My nerves have been completely shot, my mental state is nearly deteriorated. I’ve developed suicidal thoughts merely because of the woman I call my mother. The same person who has told me how much she regrets having children. The same person who has belittled me all my life and told me how worthless I am. The same person who can manipulate everything you tell her to suit her own benefits while trampling all over you. I’ve had enough. I can’t play this game anymore. After this month, I would have a summer break and one more year of college but I can’t do this anymore. It’s not going to end if I simply apologize to them. It’s never going to end.
I’ve been informed from my grandmother that they plan on telling me that I am to be kicked out permanently if I don’t apologize to them on my 21st birthday. April 27th, the day right before finals weeks. They haven’t told me anything themselves but my grandmother has informed me that it is imminent if I don’t apologize. And I… I’ve decided that I am not going to play these games anymore. She’s pushed into a corner for far to long. She actually had the nerve to walk up to me and ask what I would be doing on my birthday. That sickening, cruel excuse for a mother. This is my revelation. I am not dealing with this. I’ve spent too long trying to cater around her just to keep her from exploding over any little thing. On the day they kick me out, I will leave without looking back. It will be on her conscience for the rest of her life (if she even has one), not mine. You don’t discard your children just like that. You honestly think that your spoiled, pampered, little son will cater to you as I have? He could care less what happens to anyone other than himself. He is the spitting image of you and in the near future he will leave you on his own accord without stopping to your pleas. But you’ll just keep on blaming me for everything and I will never turn back to restart a relationship with you. I am over you. I am done trying to sort out this mess, thinking I have an obligation to keeping a relationship with you simply because you are my mother. I am never going to look back on you and spend hours upon hours crying at night while you sleep soundly in that master bedroom of yours that your husband has worked sweat over while you haven’t done a thing to lift a finger. You will not ride on my soul any longer. I am gathering my belongings and waiting for my birthday eagerly now. I will not come to finals week to take any exams. I am dropping out of school. I’ve already applied to many places and will continue working at my part time job. I will immerse myself into work and erase everything that is you from my soul.
I hope you have a good life because you will never be part of mine again.